May 2013
LIFE HACK
asap-tran: really-shit: If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you. fuck
May 21st
112,411 notes
list of people who can make me laugh so hard that i can’t even breathe me
May 21st
125,525 notes
May 21st
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May 21st
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drunktrophywife: you want me to follow back? Let me go ask my mom. She said no
May 21st
8,275 notes
sluttyoliveoil: sluttyoliveoil: what does the teen boy say after murdering a man haha no homo(cide)
May 21st
25,565 notes
May 21st
19,986 notes
sixtafoua: I’m not thirsty, I’m D-hydrated
May 21st
16,852 notes
OH SHIT JELLYFISH: angelicjace: tommilsom: Two... →
angelicjace: tommilsom: Two scientists walk into a bar The first scientist says ‘I’ll have a glass of H2O” The second scientist says ‘I’ll have a glass of water too. Wh… why did you say H2O? Like, I know it’s the chemical formula for water and all, but it’s the end of the day and…
May 21st
96,882 notes
percypan: THIS GUY JUST ASKED ME WHAT MY NAME WAS AND I DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT HE SAID SO I SAID 4:45
May 20th
68,222 notes
May 20th
69,369 notes
solubility: the hole in my heart can only be filled by a #2 pencil. Do not use a mechanical pencil. Do not leave any stray marks.
May 20th
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May 20th
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May 20th
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May 20th
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i love it when people compliment my hair like thank you i grew it myself
May 20th
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May 20th
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eatasammich: “you are what you eat”
May 20th
25,977 notes
bemusedlybespectacled: if you ever think mythology is boring or serious business or whatever shit just remember that cerberus, the hell-hound and guard dog of the underworld, comes from the root indo-european word ḱerberos, which evolved into the greek word kerberos, which got changed to cerberus when it went from greek to latin ḱerberos means “spotted” that’s right hades, lord of the dead,...
May 20th
111,878 notes
canadianslut: *sprays febreze on your attitude*
May 19th
44,348 notes
May 19th
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May 19th
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fasterfood: “dad i got accepted into harvard!!” “son im very disappointed in u. i did not raise u to be such a nerd”
May 19th
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May 19th
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toxic-ponies: omfg today in English class we were talking about reading books and some girl shouts ”BOOKS SUCK” and the quietest girl in my class says ”yeah almost as much as you do on the weekends” even the teacher laughed omfg
May 19th
102,992 notes
May 19th
3,912 notes
I have more conversations in my head than in real life
May 19th
111,966 notes
May 19th
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May 19th
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rneerkat: shinykonyta: rneerkat: i love being pregnant because i can eat whatever i want and people wont question me about it :) you are a 19 yr old boy youre stereotyping me
May 19th
52,208 notes
May 18th
68,439 notes
“But I have seen the best of you and the worst of you, and I choose both.”
– Sarah Kay and Phil Kaye, “An Origin Story” (via loveyourchaos)
May 18th
25,422 notes
Calls grocery store.....
Me: Do you have cotton balls?
Worker: Yes.
Me: Does it tickle when you walk?
Worker: *Hangs up*
May 18th
8,273 notes
sp0radic: galehawthorne: how do you get a boyfriend when you don’t leave your room #have you seen Tangled
May 18th
118,803 notes
you don’t really understand pain until you leave the house without headphones
May 18th
121,309 notes
*puts on horror movie* fuck this im out
May 18th
111,220 notes
shavingryansprivates: extra slutty olive oil
May 18th
49,936 notes
gumiappendsweet: my favorite thing about european history is that henry viii started his own religion just so he could divorce his wife
May 18th
35,953 notes
psychoticpingouins: 48 years ago a girl said “oh fuck me” to her best friend while walking in the street, a guy who randomly passed by answered by “let me at least buy you dinner first”. I present to you my grandparents, in love since then and celebrating their 47 years of marriage today.
May 18th
234,228 notes
themagiccane: Never be ashamed of the fashion style you like Never be ashamed of the type of music you like Never be ashamed of the TV shows you watch Never be ashamed of the movies you like Never be ashamed of what you draw Never be ashamed of what books you like Never be ashamed of your ships Never be ashamed of being you
May 18th
33,425 notes
chafing-nipples: dangermat: when bananas rot they secrete stuff that makes other fruit including bananas near them rot faster that’s so fucked up that is murder suicide bananas commit murder suicide that’s pretty fucking metal
May 17th
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May 17th
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toukos: school is *looks around for teachers* gay
May 17th
779 notes
ixnay-on-the-oddk: lunatrip: lunatrip: sicam: sicam: what do you call a woman with an opinion wrong What do you call a guy that makes sexist jokes Single
May 17th
86,195 notes
my favourite part about the 1800’s is none of you were born yet
May 17th
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May 17th
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ineffableboyfriends: that awful feeling when you know your period will come soon but you don’t know exactly when it will strike
May 17th
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May 17th
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May 17th
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May 17th
15,192 notes